Americans Abroad: Rant 2, Part Canada

I have discovered something here in Australia; the truth about Canadians. You probably read the title of this post, "Americans Abroad, Rant 2..." but in all honesty this post goes out to all of those Canadians who generally have made me angry over my duration here in Oz. First off, this excludes the French Canadians because I love them, they are entertaining, and they speak French. It is the others I have my problems with.

For example, when I was having the time of my life snorkeling on a boat on the Great Barrier Reef I met "Pop Culture Canadian". There were about seven of us who stayed after dinner to chat the night away and we represented five or six countries. "Pop Culture Canadian," however, proceeded to dominate the conversations talking mainly about all of her favorite movies and how she couldn't wait to go home so she could stuff her face with donuts and drink "real coffee." Child please. She then went on to tell me "I lived under a rock" because I, the American, did not know any of the movies she was raving about (no one else didn't). When she asked if I actually had television and movies back at home I said yes, but I actually have a life. What. A. Bitch.

Our second example hails from Vancouver and I had the unfortunate luck of being in the same tour group as the "Chatty Canadians" my first day in the Blue Mountains. These two blonde pieces of work literally did not shut up the entire day. They talked over the tour guide, talked over the water falls, hell, I think they even tried to talk over themselves the stupid ditzes. I tried to convince one of the other blokes in the group to push one of them off a cliff but he thought I was just joking...such a shame.

In summary, Canadians are just like Americans except without the label. This makes them even worse because even though they still come with all of the annoying tendencies, people meet them and are like "you are from Canada?!?, that's so cool." This is what is wrong with the world.