Americans Abroad: Rant 1

Now as a preface, I love my country and I am proud to be a patriotic citizen of a country that believes in the rights and liberties my countrymen have fought for in the past and fight for today. That being said, if I see one more stupid American while I am in Australia, which I surely will, I might cover their face in Vegemite and introduce them to a swarm of fire ants, or maybe tie a sirloin steak onto their ankle and throw them into a crocodile infested river; I have yet to decide. My first reaction is to just smack them on the spot. Although my desired actions might seem a little harsh to all of you reading this, let me explain. Americans, specifically students I have either come across or observed from a safe distance, are stupid (9 out of 10). First, they form cliques and shut them off to Australians around them: at college, in class, in practicals, everywhere. For instance, I give you exhibit A; the infamous, what should I call them, Dumb, Dumber and Dumb-Dumb, that will work. In my first practical (which went fine by the way), I sat near these three perfect specimens of Yankee stupidity. Over the duration of the entire two hours we were in lab they talked about three things: people from their school back at home that they all knew, amusement parks/rides, and how Dumb-Dumb was being a little bit more moody than normal and why Dumb and Dumber thought this was unjustified -apparently there is drama in "little America." Idiots. Why would you come all the way to Australia and restrict yourself to only hanging out, working with, or talking to Americans. It drives me crazy.

Exhibit B. The perpetrators will remain anonymous (but let's just say I was disappointed). But, as I was sitting near these individuals, mind you, at a table with Aussies, they felt it necessary to comment on the Australian accent every time someone said something. "Oh my gosh, they so that so weird," or "did you here the way they said that, that is so fun." In mind I was sort of wishing they would say, "oh my gosh, back at home we say a-b-r-o-a-d but here they just keep saying w-e a-r-e g-o-i-n-g -t-o- d-e-p-o-r-t y-o-u-r a-s-s." Wishful thinking but seriously, is that necessary. Some people should just not be able to be allowed to travel. It is not that they won't learn anything, it is just that they are not open or even aware (thick-headed, close-minded) of what they are doing and the image they are giving off. There is a reason Australian's have the stereotypes for Americans that they have: it is the "ambassadors" that have preceded me. Idiots.

I am continuing to not associate with any Americans while here (to a certain extent, there are a few here at St. Paul's that are acceptable). I have gone as far as to sit down in a lecture, realize I am next to some bitchy American girl complaining to her ditsy-American friend that the humidity is murder to her hair, promptly stand up and move seats next to an Aussie. My purpose has morphed. Now, instead of just getting an Australian experience and meeting and building relationships with Aussies while seeing the country and learning the culture, it is my national duty to try to improve the image we as Americans have here at James Cook University. I think I will need a lot of patience, and perhaps prescription medications.